Night at the U.P. Street

The road was turbid and there I was walking down the road alone in nearly eight o'clock in the evening. “ I have a lot rigmarole to wallop tonight” I cracked a joke inside me to brighten up my atmosphere. I listened to the planks of the rain as it hits the ground as if listening to a tintinabulation of music. Quidnanc says there are a lot of skulduggeny took place here. I don't mind it anyway, I feel safe here since the guardhouse is nearby. I took a deep breath as I slowly move from one place to another. Just when the rain slowly fading I saw a woman walking towards me. I did not mind her and I lean to the other side.

One hour earlier I was inside the Royal Cafe, eating with my co-dormers. Enjoying their accompany after the NSTP concert event. Hunger must've struck us badly for we ate a lot that near evening. We shared jokes and funny moments together not minding the people around us. I don't want to be called a mugwump again or a killjoy but I have to go ahead. I kept glancing at the clock checking from time to time what time is it.

Minutes passed by and I was still on my sit. I'm eating a mango float, feeling like I've been abducted again by the sillabub's temptation. It's time to scrimp I finally decided. I went out from the carenderia and tried to make my self to be productive. I bid good bye to them not knowing what will happened next.

A moment after that I was alone walking in a muddy road. I was thinking about a lot of things and I don't really know how will I ever manage my time. While I was in deep thought about myself and about music that correlates my plates in visual perception I saw an old lady. I was trying to avoid her gaze so I leaned on the other side of the road. Though I can sense something bad from her I still feel pity on her. To my surprised something scrape me on my back part. It was not painful but one thing is forsure it was foeceful. I looked back and then I saw the old lady.

She was frowning at me. “ whats wrong?” she asked me with her crassilingual voice. She was somehow mad at me. I did not know why. I draw near to her slowly ready to apologize to her if I bothered her. Just when I was near to her, I saw her holding a fork. Now I know that she was the one who scrape my back. She was glaring at me. That scary eyes is still hunting me in my dreams. There was one thing that crossed into my mind that night. According to urban legends when someone pats you or touch you, you do the same to the person who did it to you. Rumors says that if you wont, a moment later you will be suffering from being poisoned. I don't really believe in those but it's time to take a risk, I am not afraid of dying but I still have to have the proper death though.

With brave heart I draw closer to her now and she was twaddling. I did not know what to do . “Please nang, ayaw pag-ingun-ana, wala biya ko nang hilabot” I mumbled at her with a low voice. Another thing came across to my mind again that moment. I was thinking of what if she was a monster or a vampire and she's gonna' eat me tonight. My imagination was moving so fast. I did imagine my self a moment after that to be lying on the road dead. It was a state of pandemonium. The lady turned out to be a termagent woman. She was mumbling that I better stay away. She has this accusation that I am a robber. She turned out to be a wild one.

“Hawa diri, kawatan ka!hawa” she shouted at me as she was gnashing her teeth. Holding her fork she tried to smite me using those. I walk away from her as fast as I could. She ran after me and I feel like my whole world is falling at that time. That zany lady is really running after me. I did not know what I did but it was really a wrong move to have a pity on random people. I ran as fast as I could until I reached the guardhouse.

The guard was not there I was really mad at the guard at that moment. How could he be not around when I needed him. With no hisitation I ran to the dorm with tearful eyes. I did not say anything nor say aomething about what I experienced. I went to my bed dropped my self without even changing my clothes and cried the whole night. What happened to the old lady? I don't know. I did not look back. It was really to late for me to be informed that she was insane.

I Found Destiny

What if the bonus question in your long exam would be about what is destiny? Immediately you would answer about people or something that are fated or destined to be with each other or someone that you've been waiting for a long period of time or it could be someone you are in a relationship with and all those corny and cheezy stuffs in every girl's fantasy, right? Oh come on, scratch that please. I think all those stuff is ruining the poor word destiny. The word destiny itself is being used to much especially in Valentine's day or weddings I think it was very abused. I used to say that I don't believe in destiny, cause' I know life is a matter of choice but honestly I have eaten my words cause' actually I have found my destiny.

I was sitting on the oble square looking for some inspiration for my next plate for Visual Perception subject on a cloudy Sunday afternoon. I kept browsing my phone for music and some stuffs to kill my boredom. There were people looking at me. They were pushing each other. I did not mind them, I don't really like minding other people's business . I was enjoying something until they finally draw themselves towards me.

“Hi ako diay si ate Kenny og kani sila si Honey og si Donna” the lady said as they approached me. I was surprised but I did not show it. I looked at them with my blank face, curious on what are they gonna' say next. I shook hands with them and I introduced my self as a sign of respect and hospitality. After a couple minutes of exchanging backgrounds they introduced me to my destiny I mean to Destiny.

Destiny was a life group where in the members share their experiences and how they survive through it with the guidance of God. In Destiny life group has its meaning. The L stands for “lessons”, the I stands for “insights”, the F stands for “for” and E is for “every one”. In other words life group means “Lessons and Insights for everyone”. Destiny started among seven students who believed in the University of the Philippines Diliman, later on it spread through out UP Manila. Now Destiny's goal is to also spread it in UP Cebu.

After they introduced to me what Destiny is I got interested. I gave them my number and we formed a life group that will meet at 6 pm every Saturday. I got this idea that maybe they were sent from God to help me cure my lack of faithfulness. There are some parts in my mind that tells me, maybe they're angels who came to help me. I always believe that God has always a way on helping us.

Days went by and it as already Saturday. I remembered about the Life Group and so I went to the Oble Square. I don't like going alone so I brought my friend ate Joy. We were both wearing our house garments when we saw them. I was so touched on how Ate Kenny and ate Honey welcomed us though we looked haggard with our clothes. They were wearing their warm smile and their joyful aura. To be formal they introduced their selves again. Ate Donna was not around at that moment because she has to attend a wedding but she sent her friend ate April with us , so we met another friend.

Since then I enjoy being with them every week. I learned a lot from them especially the relationship with God. I used to think that I know God already, but then I was wrong. I realized how unfaithful I was before. What the best thing that Destiny gave me is the improving relationship between me and my family. I am not like the old Jannah before who dislike the company of other people. Little by little my relationship with other people is improving. Before waking up seems to be a burden to me, but now I wake up with my faith that I can survive everyday in my life. Every time my friend asks me “para kanino ka gumigising?” I immediately answer that I wake up every day for God.

I have this relationship with God before but I think it was never enough. Now I feel renewed and refresh with my life..

I guess we really have our own sets of destiny then. Gods has His own plan for us. According to Jeremiah 29:11; “For I know my plans for you, plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you future and a hope”. Let our Destiny be fulfilled according to Gods trail of light. Let's seek our own destiny and purpose in this world. Right now all I can say is that I found my destiny.

Splattered Paint

pandemonium-chOu'2

People used to think of me as a creep. I am someone who's avoided by everyone before. I just stare, stay quiet and walk away. A girl with very low presence that's what they always say. My life is not abrasive . I was born in a mere family. We are not poor nor rich but we do not struggle to survive. The thing is I will always be the pain in the neck in our family. I always brought that awkward feeling and that apparent aura. Why is that so? I don't know, it's just that they used to not understand me.

"Splat...splat...splat" that sound signifies that I was already awake during my past summer days. I used to splatter paint when I am not on the mood. Splattering paint makes me feel calm.There was that saying that goes " I paint in order not to cry". It was something that I could not forget from my childhood but the ugly thing is I kinda' revised it into I paint in order not to hurt myself. Most of my subjects before are morbid stuffs. It intends to portray about killing, surviving and suicides.

I don't really know why I did those stuffs buts that's really what I am good at. Looking at me might confused people. I look like someone who was so fragile and could not even hurt a single fly but that's just the outside me. I used to have this empty hole inside me. A hollow part of me that needs to be filled-in. Questions that needed to be answered that messed up my mind back then.

My life was a boredom before. I wake up, eat, go to school, come back and then pretend to study. That same routine is what I followed everyday. I only go out when I am called or asked to do something. I did not know how I survived those days in my life. The only thing I did to manage myself is to listen to music and paint. Painting saved me and helped me to control my self.

One of the crazy habit I used to do was painting a lady using an acrylic paint and paste it on our mirror. That was just for fun actually and a little satisfaction of myself. Making those stuffs made me feel better. My sketches and drawings before tries to show the feeling hidden inside me. There was that point in my life that I cut my hair tied it on my broken brushes and used it as a brush. It did not work well like camel hairs but I am so proud while using it. That bad habit was stopped the moment my mother knew about it. For her I am slowly killing myself but for me it was something like permaculture stuff and being practical.

My family noticed my hobby long before so I was enrolled in an art curriculum. It was one of the best part of my life so far. High school was great. I met new friends new people and I learned how to get along with others. We were groups of student that was divided into different clusters depending on our abilities. I was enrolled in the Visual arts of course. I had fun being one with them though I learned nothing. I learned nothing as an artist but I learned a lot as a student- a drafting student. All of those experiences were just like a mere copy of some classic way of drawing and painting. It was never art for me cause' my thoughts and passion were limited. Thinking outside the box is bounded. It was hard for me at first but I know that it has a reason and those tears that I wasted were just a part of my training. 

I could still remember that moment when  I went to my art teacher's office with tears falling and heart beating so fast. That was my own way bravery. I defended my works on how I got those ideas and how I got those techniques. The unnoticed black ship? Yep that was me. People don't know how I got low grades for not having a model and for using surrealism as a technique. Maybe the best line that I have before is that " Sir as an artist, I don't plagarise" and that ended our discussion. Thinking of it makes me laugh. I wonder how not sane I was for doing that. All I know was that I need to clear those up. I don't like showing people exhibit of copied works.

Right now I am in the University of the Philippines Cebu studying as a fine arts student encoding on someone's laptop about my early life as an artist. I know I have something to prove. We all have. I don't know if I am that good or bad in painting but I know someday I can follow my dreams. I know someday I can create a master piece out of those splattered paint of my past.

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